Almost every single day we find ourselves face to face with toxic, negative people. Some are manipulative, others are self centered. But all of them just make you (and me) want to pull out all of our hair and scream. Why do some people feel that itch to get the last word in? Why do some people need attention so badly? Regardless of their motives the only thing we can do is deal with it. Here are some of my tips for dealing with toxic people (some of which I already had to use today 😂):
1. Talk about it
If you don’t already have a therapist or someone in a similar role you can vent to about the crappy unreasonable demons we face day to day, then maybe you can confide in a close friend or family member. There’s nothing wrong with ‘talking shit’ as long as you trust the person you’re talking to not to deliver your feelings. We all do it. Anyone who says otherwise is probably a liar. Its human nature to communicate our feelings, and whilst some are much better at doing it than others, we all still do it.
2. Ignore them
This can be good and bad. If this toxic person is someone you rarely see then maybe this could work. But ignoring someone you deal with on a weekly or even daily basis can get tricky, because you don’t want all of your rage and annoyance bubbling up into one massive explosion. But ignoring the occasional negative comment and not letting it get to you can be healthy. Maybe you even think you’re better than they are or can rise above the petty squalor. Whatever your means, you do you.
3. Confront them
I personally wouldn’t do this unless the toxic individual or circumstance is getting out of hand and unmanageable. If you notice it’s starting to influence others around you or even change your own outlook (i.e. make you more negative or pessimistic) maybe you should calmly and respectfully talk to the individual bothering you. If he/she doesn’t realize how they are behaving then maybe this could be a good wake up call for them and you can facilitate some changes. If they know exactly what they are doing and just don’t care maybe you can be more stern about what they need to change. As long as you rationally explain and defend your reasoning I feel that most people can be at least a little receptive to your feedback, especially if it’s about how they are acting.
Now all of these are clearly just suggestions and maybe you have your own means and motives for dealing with the toxic ones. But these are a few of the things I do to navigate the crazy social strata we live in. Good luck.